Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
