I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
