oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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