so explain again why im purple
no
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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