He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
