The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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