Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Randomize