wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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