I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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