ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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