OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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