I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
