next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
