Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
