"it" just moved
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Randomize
