i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
