Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
