Well douche your snatch and let's go!
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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