He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Even my vagina gasped.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Pants are for mortals
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
