We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Did I show you my penis last night?
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Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
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you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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