And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Randomize
