So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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