Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
