Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
