dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
