There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Your penis caused this!
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
