do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
dude i'm inner monologue high
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize