I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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