Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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