69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
