You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
