i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
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