You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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