eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
