It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
