"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
