How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I am available for nakedness
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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