You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
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