i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
