wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
