It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
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