I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
