i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize