I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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