is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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