Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
