she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I lost the right to judge tonight
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
