I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I love you. Go after that dick
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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