I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Randomize
