there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
last night I used snow as a chaser
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