He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
