yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
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