Your mouth is God's brothel.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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