He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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