I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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