just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize