I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
