he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
My pussy is not your playground.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
