i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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