She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Randomize
