Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
